today was a flee day.

how do you deal with disappointment? i ask myself that question a lot. i tend to either get really sad and bury my head in the sand or i get upset, angry and frustrated eager to punch a pillow or throw something across the room. more often i get sad though. i don't respond to the people around me trying to help me through. sometimes i wish i could be this character with a ponytail and a skirt that swings in the breeze, who just gets up, grabs a cookie and declares: 'oh well, next time maybe. what's next?' as she  rushes out the door into the next adventure with her skirt dancing like a thunderstorm around her. very energetic. instead, i tend to feel low and i sort of dwell on that for a little while.
i wonder that about my customers, too. there is this couple that comes in every other afternoon. they have a piece of cake or a sandwich and they play games. every time. either crossword puzzles or card games. and they are whispering to each other like giggly teenagers. they are quite a bit older than me. and i wonder, what disappointments did they have to face so far? and how were they dealing with them?
it's funny too, cuz sometimes i am the disappointment of others because i don't have something in store anymore that they were looking forward to buying. and it is interesting to watch how people react. from 'oh, no problem' to 'grrrrr' and raised eyebrows. and i wonder if that reaction is a mirror of how this person reacts to any kind of disappointment. i think the bakery is a great place to really see human relations to themselves and each other.
disappointment also comes with hopes. having one's hopes up and when they are not met than we can feel disappointed. and then there is also the reality that some days are just not like others. sometimes i feel as strong as the strongest elephant with flapping ears standing grounded and enjoying the afternoon breeze. nothing can bother me. i am breathing. i am being. and then there are days, when i am the little flee that sits on the elephant's left butt cheek and, that for the life of it, can't hold on to the elephant's skin and is blown away by the slightest rush of air. maybe today was a flee day.